Anxiety eating

Well, there they were…. duhduhduhhhhhh!!!! The TIMBITS! It felt like they were staring at me, begging me to eat them… I had bought them as a treat for my daughters since we were going for a fairly long ride in the car, but it was all I could do to stay out of them myself. I’m fairly addicted to them, you see. I’ll buy them “for my daughters” and then see one I like, then another, then another… then oops… 7+ of those damn little sugarbombs later I realize that I just botched my whole day.

But today, today was a new experience. I left them alone… not out of my mind, because it was hard to resist them as they sat on the seat next to me. But I did it. It’s at moments like these that I notice unhealthy thoughts begin popping into my head, like “if I could just eat it, then throw it up…” I’m glad that these thoughts still sound totally ridiculous to me though, otherwise, I would have a problem. Really, I hate throwing up… with a passion, so thankfully I could never do it just so I could eat a timbit, lol. I just wanted you guys to know that you’re not the only ones who’s heads get filled with craziness when temptation is only a small arms-length away, however, it’s not really the reason I decided to write this post.

The real reason, is because after that… after I had fended off the urge to eat them, I ended up in a situation where I was told that I had made a mistake, a simple mistake anyone could’ve made, and the guy I was speaking to shrugged it off. No biggie… so you’d think that it wouldn’t amount to anything, right? Wrong. You see, I’m incredibly shy, so any interaction when I find out I’ve made a mistake can be really awkward for me, so I worry about it. The second I got back into my car… I found myself reaching for my second timbit. Yup… second. This was such a “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?” moment that I almost couldn’t believe it. I honestly don’t remember eating the first one, I remember finishing it… but I didn’t even really get to taste or savour it! What a bummer!! It sucked, I was annoyed that it had been SUCH an automatic reaction that I didn’t notice until it was too late, I felt terrible and guilty… which would usually end with me eating MORE timbits, compounding my problem. This time, however, I put the second timbit back. I was actually able to fully acknowledge what I had done, and although I couldn’t reverse my decision, I was able to prevent further damage to my day. This is something I need to keep reminding myself of… everyone makes mistakes and slips up, but you can’t get down on yourself ans make ir worse. Make a conscious decision to stop doing these unhealthy habits and really work at it.

We can do this together! If I can, you can.

Thanks for reading!

Barb

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C25K update

After I last mentioned it, I have been asked how I’ve been doing with C25K. As a serious couch potato, I won’t lie, it’s been tough. The first night I began running again, it felt great! Then, the second night? Not so great… OUCH! As an added bonus, my boyfriend decided that he would come along and join me after he stepped on the scale and saw something he didn’t like. Having either my boyfriend or dog really does seem to help me out, when I feel like I can’t go on, I keep going anyway. Ember loves to go, and Aldric loves to go faster than me, lol.  As a competitive couple, it’s a nice way to compete against one another while keeping each other motivated! 

Anyway, I made it through week 1 so far, and then last night I decided to skip week 2 and had straight for week 3, because when I saw what week 3 had to offer (3 minutes of running!) I had already given up on myself. So this time to overcome it, I just did it. Aldric should be able to keep up with me when we go tonight (he skipped or on last night since he hasn’t been feeling well) since he did way better than me in week 1. I’m really not much of a runner!

So I went out last night and jogged for the full three minutes! I know, totally doesn’t sound like much to most people, even my volleyball teenage self laughs hysterically at the thought of three minutes seeming like an eternity, but I made it through the first half! Then? That crucial mistake came to bite me in the ass… or, abs really… The cramping which comes thanks to my late dinner. Last night was the first night that I actually had to sit down for a minute, and walk the second half. It wasn’t overly satisfying. Sure, my calves burned, but there were no great amounts of sweat that I hadbecome accustomed to… and I was disappointed?! Yup. I sure was.

The main point here? If I can do it, you sure can! Because I’m going out again tonight to actually complete the second section of three minutes jogging. Knowing that the program will let me hear that ring and tell me to stop, really keeps me going. “Just a little longer…” “Can’t be much longer now…”. It works. Try it out. Get a friend to try it with you! Have fun with it!

Wish me luck! 

Barb

P.S. I’m going to be adding my two week meal plan/grocery list for you guys, as well as my “instead of binging” jar soon, so follow me here, on instagram, Facebook and Twitter to keep yourselves updated! 

C25K

I won’t lie… it’s not my first time trying the C25K program. I started it about a month or two ago before my children both got pneumonia and were in and out of the hospital a lot. HOWEVER, this time, tonight I did notice that I could actually finish it… you know, without the feeling of totally dying. That was a proud moment. I finally really did something to break my lack-of-activity streak and get back into the groove of things. Hopefully this is something that will be able to be continued and built on until I’m up to going to the actual gym and working out there. Plus, I have a goal of running in the Bluenose Marathon next year with my best friend Sarah. I have almost a year to get ready for it, so it really should be doable!

I brought my dog Ember with me for the first time tonight. It was a little tough at first. Ember is insanely high energy, and she was going crazy! But, as we started running, she started to get worn out little by little, and at the end she was actually a really well-behaved dog. A great companion since I seem to be unable to get anyone else to go with me!

I’m not much of a runner, and I never have been. However, C25K is a program that can actually motivate me to start running. Even though at the end I’m REALLY waiting for the last bell noise to tell me I can stop running, I’m actually discovering that I enjoy it! If you haven’t downloaded it already, I strongly encourage you to do so. It’s a free app that you can get for any smart phone (I believe). If it can motivate me, it can motivate you too! Let’s do this together, one foot in front of the other.

Ember and I just after our outing.

Ember and I just after our outing.

Ignore the date stamp, I replaced my batteries and didn't reset it!

Ignore the date stamp, I replaced my batteries and didn’t reset it!

We all look at the mirror and say that we want to make certain changes from time to time, but the only way to make them is to take action. Now is your time!

Thanks for reading,

Barb